ANCIENT GREECE Song by Mr. Nicky

TEACHERS: Mr. Nicky performs school assemblies and classroom workshops across the country, teaching your classes how to write their own educational parodies! These programs meet state learning standards, and they’re tons of fun! The workshops are offered online as well. Please send an e-mail to [email protected] for full information. (Students will not receive a response, but thank you for your support. Please tell your teachers to e-mail Mr. Nicky!)
LYRICS
Ancient Greece Song By Mr. Nicky
To the tune of “All About That Bass” by Meghan Trainor
Backing tracks property of Karaoke Version/Tency Music.
Because I taught Alexander the Great, I’m the great Aristotle
Alexander the Great, I’m the great Aristotle
Alexander the Great, I’m the great Aristotle
Alexander the Great, I’m so great (great, great, great, great, great)
If you’re a polytheist, you should be thanking Zeus
For all the Greek achievements that they’ve passed down to you
‘Cause you got Democracy from the folks in Athens &
Our alphabet is from the Phoenicians
Minoans and Mycenaeans
worked at their sailing trade
Around an acropolis they’d build a city-state
Wasn’t much farming soil, barely enough
On the peninsulas of Attica and Peloponnesus
So in Athens they’d given their citizens voting rights (rule by the people)
But in Sparta they were doing their duty and trained to fight (their duty, duty, for their oligarchy)
Though the Spartans had helots, they were jealous of Athens’ power (Athens’ jury and assembly)
With their allies they all fought the Peloponnesian War
It was a battle between city-states, city-states
A battle between two city-states, city-states
A battle that ends the Golden Age, Golden Age
A battle where Pericles was slain by a plague (ugh!)
Then Macedonians
Invaded from the north in a phalanx
Phillip II fought on horses’ backs
The Greeks got warnings from Demosthenes the Orator but Phillip’s cavalries won
His son Alexander spread Greek culture through his empire (mixing the traditions)
With a library in Alexandria on the Nile (they built a Pharos, it’s a giant lighthouse)
Hellenism spread eastward till he died in Babylon (His generals split his Empire)
He should have prayed to Athena inside of the Parthenon
It’s like a tragedy by Sophocles, Sophocles, Greek Drama
Or by Euripides, Euripides, Greek Drama
Or Aristophanes, Aristophanes, Greek Drama
It’s like a tragedy, tragedy
It’s like the Iliad and Odyssey, Odyssey by Homer
It’s like the Iliad and Odyssey, by Homer
It’s like the Iliad and Odyssey by Homer
It’s like the Iliad and Odyssey
That’s right I taught Alexander the Great, I’m the great Aristotle
Alexander the Great, I’m the Great Aristotle
Alexander the Great, I’m the Great Aristotle
Alexander the Great, I’m so great
I learned from philosophy from Socrates, Socrates, I’m Plato
I learned from philosophy from Socrates, Socrates, I’m Plato
I learned from philosophy from Socrates, Socrates, I’m Plato
Play-doh? hahaha